I will begin this (much belated chapter) with a mission statement of sorts: friends, I live an //alternative lifestyle.
Were you aware? ///// BECAUSE I DO.
When I reflect on my brief existence in this world, I realize: it has always been this way. Even during the bleak middle school days of turquoise eye shadow and abercrombie tube tops, I have never been able to escape my ultimate fate of being a weird ass broad.
// Do you think it has something to do with the eyebrows?????????
// Do you think it has something to do with the eyebrows?????????
In some ways, the //alternative way of life was the only viable option for me.
Some context for more recent acquaintances: I grew up in a very very WASP-filled, Jesus-loving, straight-laced ‘burb--a world of extreme & deeply self-congratulatory ---normativity----. Indeed there have been multiple movies / TV shows / books chronicling my particular suburb’s status as the quintessential white-picket-fence suburban archetype.
Some context for more recent acquaintances: I grew up in a very very WASP-filled, Jesus-loving, straight-laced ‘burb--a world of extreme & deeply self-congratulatory ---normativity----. Indeed there have been multiple movies / TV shows / books chronicling my particular suburb’s status as the quintessential white-picket-fence suburban archetype.
I was a bad fit for this culture, shall we say. And, in my defense, the culture was quite extreme.
Example #1: the stereotypically popular kid in my class was essentially a cardboard cut-out of America the White & Hetero & Beautiful.
Let us henceforth refer to him as “Bill.”
